The silence. The pain. When will it stop? When will it go away? I’m so tired. Is the real me gone forever? I can’t see her in the glass. I must be dead.

I was young, in a new city, and in love. Looking back, I was so naïve. I didn’t realize my struggles with a controlling, abusive partner, who nearly destroyed me, were just beginning.

My young husband found the religion of his dreams. He insisted I follow its strict rules, which prohibited having friends outside his church, family gatherings, movies, slang language, television, clothing choices, hairstyles, makeup, and more.

Throughout the pregnancy we had good and bad days. Then he slowly eased in with the name calling and making me feel unwanted. He had a hard time keeping jobs, but was against me working.